Childhood is not always pleasant, but is compulsary
by ellimongoose
Summary: This is Spock recalling his times through childhood and his struggles.
1. Prologue

Prologue

"My youth was...complex" I stuttered, trying to find the appropriate word without expressing my dearest of emotions. The emotions that boiled behind my mental barriers at the upsetting events of my childhood.

She stared deep into my eyes, her soul searching mine, she knew that I was hiding things from her, omitting the truth. Nevertheless she did not question it. She stayed, her dark brown irises bore into my face. I felt the sudden urge to tell her, to reveal how my childhood was of upset and isolation. I would tell her. she, the one who could only be described as beautiful, none other knew her as well as I did. It was illogical of me to not allow her to know me, to the extent that I know her and her beauty.

"I wish to tell you, of the difficulties that I faced." I struggled out, the sentence had come out crude and robotic, like the logical way that I force myself to portray. I wished that I could have made it sound as heartfelt as Nyota could. But, I am not Human, I am Vulcan and so I am correct in my speech.

She nods in a gesture of support, her cool hand lay absently upon my bicep. Her lips quirk into the familiar smile that I have become most pleasantly accustomed to. Thus causing her eyes to gather small minute wrinkles at either edge, three upon her left and four upon her right, it is always like this. Her smile.

"My Mother and I were close. My Father and I were, well... I was not the son he had wanted... I do not think. Nevertheless he treated me with an admiral amount of respect most of the time. It was only up until my 19th year that it became apparent of his distaste of mine person."

"I wish, to show you. It would be easier than words." I gushed out, the muddle of words mixed with concise conclusions had clearly hit Nyota; the way her eyebrows had shifted by two point five millimetres told me this.

She nodded, "I understand that things like this are difficult for you. And i'll make sure that if you really want to tell me, then you are as comfortable as you possibly can be." She reached over and lay a small kiss upon my brow. My eyes darted to meet hers, I pressed my head to hers. In our opposing symmetry. Human,Vulcan. Reddened Iron, Greened copper. Nyota, Spock.

"Kash-novh?"

"Ah, t'nash-veh t'du"

In her acceptance I pressed my fingers to her psi-points upon her face, and joined our minds.

**Authors note:**

HI i'm baaaaaack.

I've decided to go on a Spock childhood pov route, dont know why but hey here I go!:P

by the way:

Kash-novh=mind meld

Ah, t'nash-veh t'du= yes, I am yours

Hope you enjoy this fic and opinions, reviews and constructive criticism is always welcome:P

Thanks for reading this ElliMongoosex


	2. Chapter 1

The tall woman was stood high above me, her dark almost black eyes stared into my Mothers and Fathers as they spoke of my enrolment at the school. My Mother spoke in one of her well practised reserved tones, whilst my Father was his usual self, cold. I openly loved Mother, but she said I couldn't tell anyone. When I had asked why, it had been Father who had taught me of our ways. Of the Vulcan control. Of meditation. Me and Father had come closer, he'd shown me this technique, where if I imagined that my emotions are a wild animal, like a raging Sehlat and that they could only be observed in a controlled environment, for brief amounts of time and at great distance. I could feel them if I wished, but they must not control how I act.

So now, stood in front of this ever so terrifying woman, I held my posture strong and kept my fear at bay. As Father had said, that Surak had taught us, 'Cast out fear'. My Father was looking at me expectantly, I quirked my eyebrow, a response my Father deemed appropriate in a public setting. "Yes Father?"

"Savensu T'Dfihr wished to know your name son." My Father stated calmly, his response flat and untoned. His own eyebrow was quirked upwards, his head tilted a small degree to the left, a gesture of expectancy.

"I apologise for my insolence of your address of me Savensu, I am S'chn T'gai Spock."

The tall woman named T'Dfihr nodded politely, "Hello Spock, you will commence with your classes in twenty minutes, you are to be taught by Savensu Darok. You will locate your class at room two-one-three, which is situated upon the third floor of the academy, good day." With that the savensu left with a swift movement and disappeared into an office.

"Come Spock, we shall take you to your class, learn the route for we shall not b here to guide you through these halls." Father spoke in a hushed tone as he preceded both my Mother and me down the corridor. His steps were wide and ignorant of the fact my own legs were, but 42cm's tall, whilst his were 108cm's in length. Mother placed her hand on the small of my back in encouragement, and I strode off in the longest stride I could conjure.

I still trailed behind Father, but I did not mind. I was proud. I had got into the academy and was on the way to my first class. At the ripe age of three(the standard Vulcan schooling age) I headed after my Father, hands locked behind my back, just like him, like Father did. "Coming Father." I spoke in my most dignified tone.

I felt a small tug of amusement from Mother through the bond and I locked that away in a cage to observe at a later time, right now needed to keep my head level and the Sehlat's at bay. The hallways were tall and long. With a rusted orange tone to the metal structure, above me was the roof high up and set in a triangular manner. Before me the corridor still stretched on, we had reached the third floor, but we were yet to reach room two-one-three. Everything seemed huge to me, considering that I was only 37 inches tall and the building around me was much taller.

Father had stopped his rigorous pace and brought his hand out to the side pointing languidly towards a closed door, "Your classroom my son." He stated coolly.

I faced the door, I was 3.4minutes early but I doubted that mattered too much considering that the school's schedule did not start for 26.6mintes. I allowed myself to feel a slight amount of apprehension before dismissing the emotion back to it's cage. mother leant down beside me and whispered in my ear, "Good luck my boy." A human sentiment, but one that I accepted gratefully. I nodded and stepped towards the door, knocking twice.

The door opened and before me stood a soft featured man. The slant to his eyebrows was not harsh and rigorous like Savensu T'Dfihr's had been, and his eyes did not burn into mine like her's had done, no this man seemed to be of a pleasant demeanor.

"Hello young one,I am Savensu Darok. You are 3 minutes early, but not the first to arrive. Here step inside and leave your outer robe upon your assigned hook." Spock nodded and did as he asked.

Savensu Darok spoke with his Father for a period of 45seconds before his parents departed leaving him alone in this strange, large place. Savensu Darok took his place upon the larger of the chairs in the room. There were diagrams of spaceships and animals with words above them. Some of the words he could read, others he could not.

"Spock, you may be seated amongst your classmates." Savensu Darok announced. I found my seat next to a small girl, she nodded politely and then stared forward. "Now, we are expecting just one more student then we shall begin. You may confer quietly amongst yourselves for the time being." Savensu Darok announced.

There was five of us in my class and looking around I was the only one with brown eyes. "I am T'Pring, I have devised that you are Spock."

"Yes, I am Spock. It is pleasant to meet you T'Pring, who are the others amongst us?"

She pointed to the two boys in front of them and spoke, "That is Stonn, and his friend, Karir." At the mention of their names both boys turned to face them. "And that is T'Lar, she pointed out a small girl who sat alone form the others.

"So, you are Spock?" The one named Stonn asked.

"Yes" I answered hesitantly.

Stonn's head tilted slightly, "Your eyes are different. They are brown,why?"

"My Mother is human, I inherited the genes that gave me this colour." I spoke in utter fact, not realising that my ethnicity would affect how my fellows would look upon me.

"Human?"-"yes"-"But you are not emotional like the are? You are neither Vulcan nor Human, so what are you? And if your are not Vulcan you should not be in this academy, you are not welcome." Stonn spoke in a cold hard tone. His black eyes stared into my own.

My emotions fought against their bars, I calmed the beasts and locked them away in strengthened cages. Before I could answer Karir Spoke, "Leave him, if he is here he must have at least some of his father's intelligence."

Taking slow deep breaths I struggled to stay calm as my Sehlats would not behave. They would escape, and I would cause shame to myself and Father, I must stay controlled. Karir was about to speak again as the door was knocked upon. Savensu Darok stared at both Stonn, Karir and me before going to the door. He welcomed the new student and she took her place next to the quiet girl, T'Lar."

"Listen to his hard breathing, the human in him taints his control." Stonn snickered quietly as he turned to face the front display, and Karir gave a hint of a smile. Spock's breathing increased in pace. T'pring must have noticed my distress because she tapped her stylus and passed one to me,

"Here, we'll be starting now." The distraction was small, but it had worked.

I silently thanked her in my mind and watched as Savensu Darok started the class on the picture word cards.

**Authors note:**

**Savensu=teacher**

hope you enjoyed this and keep reading it'll pick up son, just gotta introduce you all first!:P

Thanks for reading:P


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter two:

Stonn and Karir did not relent in their effort to place me in emotional discomfort. They had not yet achieved their outcome. I had not reacted emotionally, I would treat their comments with logic as Father had said and deduce them as irrational. I would not falter.

In my third year in the academy the two ' bullies' my mother had called them, had gathered a small group. They consisted of four boys, all larger than me who both Stonn and Karir had befriended when our class had merged with Savensu T'Gourh's class at the end of my second year.

I had been informed the previous day to bring some form of clothing suitable for physical activity for today's classes. I packed my loose trousers and a tight fitting long sleeve shirt into my bag. Entering the kitchen Mother was cooking. Despite having maids, Mother insisted on cooking, something that always eluded me. "Good morning Mother."

"Good morning Spock dear, I've made you some pla'savas yoghurt for breakfast, and would you like a drink?" She spoke in her higher pitched tone, spinning around from the counter where she was making tea for presumably her and Father.

"Yes please, and thankyou." I took the bowl from her and sat at the table, beginning to pour in some grains with the yoghurt. "Could I have some sash-savas juice please?"

"Yes sure you can" My Mother replied with a smile, passing me the juice she asked me why my bag was bulging.

In between bites I replied, " We were asked to bring clothing appropriate clothing for physical activity." I paused to take a spoon of my breakfast, continuing "So it is forcing my bag to protrude."

"Oh right, did you iron it?"

"no"

"Oh Spock, pass them here, i'll do it you, eat up." My Mother answered indignantly.

I thanked my mother for sorting out my squashed bag, somehow the woman had managed to fold the items so neatly that I could actually fit my PADD in the entire way in. Perplexed at her skilful packing I left with Father for usual, the journey was silent.

I reached school at exactly 9:00am and sat down in class, Savensu Darok was dressed in his own attire fit for exercise. Once everyone was in attendance Savensu Darok addressed the class.

"Today we shall be working in the gymnasium. Where we shall be learning the martial art of this province, Suus-Mahnna. Please go and change your clothes and meet me in the gym in precisely 10minutes."

"Yes sir" I chimed along with everyone else. Stonn and Karir got out of their seats first and left the room, I waited tactically for everyone else to leave the room before I left. It must have looked like an odd act of politeness to Savensu Darok seen as my desk was the closest to he door. Nevertheless I left the room and headed down the corridor trailing quietly behind the others.

Upon reaching the changing rooms everyone was already hustling around changing so no one noticed my approach into the room. I changed and left as quick as I could. I would not leave myself to be targetted by being slow. The gymnasium was a room that I had not yet been in at the Academy.

Its floor squished beneath my feet and was of a similar material to sponge, only firmer. It bounced slightly as I walked. Along the walls were torso shaped models and large heavy looking bags that hung from chains. In the centre there was a marked out square in red flooring rather than creme. That was where Savensu Darok was sat in the medative position.

"Spock, come and sit down here like I am. You are early, why?" Savensu asked with an eyebrow quirked. "Surely, with your spare 4minutes you would have rather have socialised?"

I shook my head slightly, "No, I do not socialise much. The others do not hold very friendly conversations and I would rather spend my time learning than wasting it upon them."

Darok's head tilted sharply, "Who does not converse friendly with you?" His tone sounded almost concerned.

Spock huffed out a small breath, he could feel his cheeks turning green. "Stonn" I whispered, "He leads them to hate me." I said quietly, ignoring the fact that I had just addressed my tutor emotionally.

"Spock, if there is any conflict, inform me, it shall be sorted. Ah, come and sit with us you are on time students." Savensu motioned with his hand to sit with Spock upon the reddened square.

"Why was he already in here?" Stonn asked staring at me rather than Darok who he was addressing.

"I told Spock some information that was needed to be exclusive to only I and him." Darok Answered, not lying to Stonn, but twisting his words to fit the situation. I thanked him to myself for not telling Stonn the whole truth. "Right class, if we start by a small practise of meditation, I want you all to focus upon my voice. Find your centre and forget the surrounding world, calm your inner self and tame the beasts of emotion. Find your sacred place within your minds and keep a tight hold on it. Slowly, open your eyes, but do not lose concentration.

"Good, now with yourselves calm and focused I want you to asses your musculature, start with your toes, through to your ankles and to your gastrocnemius and so on until reaching back to your mind. Now once we have run through our muscles I would like you to stand."

Darok's calmed voice reached into my mind as he spoke his instructions, I followed the lines of my own body, focussing upon the blood vessels and the copper that flowed within them, once I was sure that I had collected my entire thoughts and all that I knew of my anatomy I rose from the softened floor.

The room was silent and Darok showed us his stretches. We stretched for 20 minutes rotating and flexing our muscles. Once he had cycled through he spoke again.

"Now, I have pairs in mind. When your name is said you will stand with your assigned partner:

T'Pring and T'Lar

Karir and Seril

Spock and Stonn"

No, No No no no! This could not be happening I shouted internally. Darok had just spoke to me of my issues with Stonn and now, now he had partnered me with him! With him to fight with!

I could feel myself shaking, I ceased it. Willing myself to regain my centre. I eyed Darok blankly, he simply gave a small quirk of the lip. Wanting to scowl I turned from the faces of people and stared at the torso of a dummy, I really wanted to hit something now and if it was to be Stonn then I would do it gladly. I turned back to face Stonn, his eyes glared into mine, he looked down on me, he was taller than me, everyone was. His bigger build frightened me slightly knowing that we would be sparring soon.

Another Savensu entered the room, one who I had not met before. "This is Savensu Tau, he will help me demonstrate some simple moves. I must warn you students, if you do not keep up your focus upon your centre the your emotions will be felt by your partner during combat as you will touch." Oh dear oh dear, I started panicking. If Stonn felt me then he would know all of my weaknesses, how could Darok have done this if he knew Stonn hated me?! "To ensure you are not leaking emotions keep up your guard and block out the other's mind, if your partner feels you, then they will know your weaknesses and you will inevitably lose the fight."

Stonn stared at me, his eyes not straying from my face as Savensu spoke, I just knew that he was plotting to break me.

**Authors note:**

oooh shizzles going to go down!

Sorry this is a bit dragggg but it needs to be here I'm afraid, thankyou to firefly class and Botsey for your reviews you're spocktastic!:P

Thankyou for reading and this should be updated soon:P

Typos removed :P


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

Stood in the soft floored gymnasium, standing in front of the one Vulcan whom I hate the most, Savensu Darok displayed the many techniques of Suus-Mahnna to me and the class. He and Tau flipped each other around effortlessly, all the while I could feel Stonn's gaze upon me. He was stood 2.45 feet away behind me, I am tensed, ready. I have devised that cages for my Sehlats are not enough, they could bend their bars easily if tampered with by Stonn, I have now placed them beneath the ground, hidden deep within the maze which is now my centre. There, the Sehlat's hide, within the undergrowth of my own metallic barriers and walls which from they cannot escape, nor be broke out by an intrusive force. Stonn shall not affect me, and nor shall I attempt to affect him, for it would be illogical of me to intrude in his thoughts. As Father has taught me, I shall keep to my logic and push my emotional responses aside.

Savensu Darok had flipped Tau onto his back for the forth time now, and I was certain that if attempted Stonn would not find my weakness. "Class, I want you and your partner to now spar with one another. Pads have been provided at the edge of the hall, please put on shin pads, gloves and a padded helmet." As we made our way over to where the pads were kept Darok carried on with is instructions. "You will spar upon these rectangles," He motioned with his hand and three large rectangle holograms appeared upon the floor each 5ft apart from one another. "Whomever is forced out of the rectangle will lose a point, you will start at 5 points each, the first to reach 0, loses. The computer hooked to our rectangle will log each point, ad you will be notified by the changing of colour, the barrier shall change from blue to red once breached, the sensors in your pads will notify the computer of who crosses the barrier first."

I had put on my pads, and started to make my way over to the rectangle with our names marked upon either side. I stood both feet just inside the rectangle awaiting Darok's next instruction and Stonn's return. After a period of what I assume to have been 7.9 seconds Stonn returned. His cold black eyes stared into mine as we faced each other head on, his face pushed together slightly by the fitted helmet and his shins covered to the knee with the foam pads, his hands were clenched and the foam pads that covered his knuckles were deformed by his grip.

"There are some rules to be placed, you shall not strike for your partners facial psi points, you shall not strike for their neck pressure points, you shall not remove your padded clothing, and you should not run from your rectangle, in all cases defend yourself. Understood?" "Yes Savensu." "Now, you may begin." Savensu Darok bowed to us all and stepped aside allowing us all to focus upon our opposing partners.

I stepped towards Stonn, one arm tensed up in a knife strike pose, palm open to not harm my fingers, the other down at my side ready to defend myself, keeping my guard up. Stonn moved towards me his own position similar to mine, although his fists were clenched tight. "I'll go easy on you, halfbreed your bones are weak, your muscles are weak er, and your control is false. I'll try to give you a chance." Stonn sneered as we continued to circle one another with careful steps, each assessing one another's moves. Watching how they placed their foot, how their musculature was tensed, where it was not.

"I assure you, your attempt to divert my concentration will not work. Despite my disadvantage I have noticed yours. Though I am not as foolish as you are to point them out to my opponent." I snapped back in my own defence. Stonn lunged forward grabbing my raised arm tightly, could feel the slight buzzing of anger through his touch, ah he was more unstable than I, He would feel nothing form me. I twisted my arm anti-clockwise and pulled with my left arm, releasing me from his tight grasp, now curled slightly I pushed out with as much force as I could muster with my drawn elbow I shoved it upwards into his solar plexus. He grunted in pain buckling over slightly, at his hesitation I pushed forward, wrapping my left foot around the back of his right ankle, pushing down upon his chest with my palm he fell out of the rectangle. The barrier lit up red and a small dong rang out the score board changed, Spock5 Stonn4.

Stonn recovered quicky, springing to his feet he spoke, "I told you, that, I would go easy on you." He said between breaths. I knew he was speaking in a hope to regain some of his self worth, but I did not question it. Instead I stood calm, collected and fists raised. We circled again, this time it was I who grew impatient and struck out. Stonn reacted faster this time, his movements matching mine immediately, we were locked our arms entangled, both of our faces had lost their composure as we pushed with all our might. He managed to knee me away dislodging us, off balance he charged at me running in the small space, he leapt and kicked me in the chest. His foot impacted hard into my ribs and I shot backwards out of the rectangle. Red rimmed the board lit up, Spock4 Stonn4.

Recovering from his kick I stood in front of him again, lowered to the ground however. Spinning around on my left foot I swung out with my right , as he fell I jumped up and kicked at his flying foot, thus causing his limped body to flip further, he hit the ground hard and rolled off out of the barrier. Spock4 Stonn3.  
Losing all composure Stonn charged at me from outside of the rectangle, fists out stretched, I managed to block his first attempt at my skull. However, I had not anticipated the swinging kick of his right leg straight into my thigh. His blow knocked me off balance, and I fell hard to the floor. Instead of kicking me out of the barrier like he should have done Stonn mounted an pinned me to the floor. His face disgruntled and full of rage he punched me straight between my eyes. "Stonn!" Savensu Darok called out, "Stonn!" But Stonn would not relent, angry tears formed in his eyes and his fists hit me again and again and again. I called out in pain as his fists pounded into my untensed agonised body, I could feel the bruises forming upon my skin, all I wished for was him to get off of me.

I closed my eyes and tried my best to shut out the pain, the place it with the Sehlat's away, and hidden. Bad decision. The Sehlat's broke free. My anger that I had been suppressing over the years of bullying as released. The beasts ran through my brain and into my body, my blood boiled and burned with an internal rage. Adrenaline filled my muscles and I pushed hard at the pathetic illogical excuse of an outraged Vulcan boy above me. He felt weightless as I lifted his pathetic form from my body. His fists stopped pounding for my face, but reached up towards his own to protect himself. I kneed him in the gut, My legs had found a mind of their own and were thrashing violently at his lower leg, repeatedly I threw my leg against his. His crying of pain only drove me forward. Stonn buckled and dropped to his knee's, I punched him around the side of his head and he fell to the floor. His head lolled out of the rectangle, the barrier lit up red, and score board rung out , Spock4 Stonn2.

I no longer cared.

I ignored Darok's calls for me to speak to him. I ignored Stonn's cries. I ignored everyone. Throwing off my padded clothing I left the gymnasium and went to the one place in the academy that no one knew about.

Running through the halls, away from the rules, away from logic, and away from people. I headed to my solitude. The one place hat they'd least expect to find me. Fleeing I arrived at my heart, my peace and my safe haven away from the ones who hurt me and the ones whom I hurt. I crawled into the vent, deep into the ventilation system of the Academy, There I crawled till I came out at the systems router. The machine that keeps me calm. My tears burned and stung my eyes as I crawled my actions were becoming more apparent to me and I was ashamed. I moved over to the small padd beside the machine and checked it's systems, the third floor had a small fan stuck, it had burnt out it's fuses, I fixed the wiring and when it was done I fell against the cool metal. Hunched up in my tight space I cried, my eyes burnt wth tears, my blood was unusually hot and hurt, my muscles ached and my emotions ran free like the uncaged beasts that they were.

Returning home before the school day ashamed of myself, I faced my Father.

"Spock, what has happened, you're school has rung claiming that you beat up a chid, despite calls to stop. Now I see you here, at home; two hours earlier than you should be. Son what are you doing?" My Father called to me his voice slightly colder than usual, I could sense his curious shame.

"I don't want to speak of it." I mumbled.

"You will speak of it. It is not an option, it is imperative, what are you doing?" My Father answered abruptly.

"I don't know alright! I cant keep calm! I cant do anything right. I have no friends, people hate me. Im weak, they all say it is because of you and I hate them for that but I cant say anything can I? No that would be illogical! I don't care anymore Father, alright. Right now I want to cry, and YOU are not going to stop me. I am weak, I am human, I do not deserve to be Vulcan!"As I screamed, my Father gripped my lower chin and forced me to look at him. "What?" I asked indignantly.

My Father breathed heavily, his eyes searching mine, "Son, I fear you may be experiencing something that Vulcans go through at the age of seven, however you are only six years of age. If I am correct then it must be down to your genetics. son let me meld with you."

I grunted and allowed him to. His fingers reached my psi points and his familiar essence merged with mine, though it was strange. He was not welcome like he usually was, I wanted him out and I wanted to injure him badly. I pushed involuntarily at his mind hurtfully, throwing some of my emotions at him. He pulled back and drifted from my mind immediatley. "Spock" he spoke huffing his breath. "You are going to need T'Pau."

My eyes widened, my somehow unrelated, yet related to me Ko-mehk il. She scared me, why would I need her? She looked at me as a huge mistake on my Fathers life just as she did Mother. "Why? I stammered, suddenly feeling very dimminished.

"It is our way, it is how it is. It is ponn-farr"

**Authors note:**

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thankyou for reading!

I dont know about it myself but i've got some things to sort out for the next installment, i'll probably have the next part up by sunday:P

Thanks for all the reviews you're all spocktastic!:P


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four:

"This is outrageous! Sarek, how can they accuse him of this violence when it was inevitable! The god darned man put the two children who hate each other in a room to fight one another, how on this planet did he not expect the violence to escalate! How! "My Mother cried out at my Father, she was pacing the length of the room back and forth in a flurry of her human emotions. Sat upon the balcony that overhangs above the dining room I overheard my parents discussion...

"Ashal Amanda, the practise of Suus-Mahnna is a test for the children, it singles out the ones with the greatest control and the ones who may be upon the fever. Like Spock." -"But how! Just explain to me Sarek, how can he be upon his fever at only six!" Mother interjected "Amanda, Amanda, calm ashal." My Father used a tone with my Mother that I had never heard, ever. It was a tone full of caring and such emotion. He moved over to her and placed a hand upon her back gently easing her over to the seating area. Father was displaying so much affection. He brought her a glass of water and sat beside her, illogical. Surely if he were to hold a conversation with her it would have made much more sense to sit opposing, face to face. Instead, he sat next to her, his hand upon her shoulder; it was strange.

"Amanda, yes, he is but six. However, we had known that because of the genetic make up of Spock, that his hormonal balance would not be entirely correct. I have assessed his mental state, currently he is tolerable, but soon he shall gain in his anger. That is something we cannot allow him to suffer through, Amanda you know of the times when I have struggled through the fever without you. You must understand that this is something we must seek T'Pau's knowledge for." Father explained, Mother sat shaking slightly, her eyes never leaving Father's. "And for the school" he continued, "they shall deal with it how they always have done, the child must deal with their emotions in isolation, they must continue with their education and not seek help, for they must learn to master their own control."

"But, it's so difficult for him." Mother spoke softly, "The other children are far from pleasant with him, so much so he cries at night. I have heard him Sarek. I do not think he knows I do, but he does, he struggles beyond belief. I feel him through the bond more often than not, you must help your son through this, he is not wholly Vulcan" My Father looked away, as did I, I felt the tears gathering in my eye ducts, I banished them, the emotion was locked away but the tears would not relent. Softly they fell down my cheeks in a silenced upset that I could not diminish. "Sarek" Mother continued, I saw through my hazed eyes her hands bringing his face to look at her. "Why will you not accept his humanity?"

" It is complex, I must speak with T'Pau upon the mater of his fever, she will select a suitable betrothed for him." What!? I asked internally, betrothed, betrothed. I do not want a wife! I screamed in my head. Girls were horrible, they smelled funny and were weird, why would I want to marry one! My Father removed my mother's hands from his face, "Amanda you understand don't you, that this is our way?"

Mother looked to her hands, "Yes I understand, but Saarek, if he is unhappy; he can break the bond yes? Like you did with T'Rea, for me?" Sarek raised her chin by the light of his finger and nodded. Mother leant back against him and sighed, "Our whole life is going to be one huge complication, isn't it?"

"I am afraid, that is an obligation that you agreed to when we married is it not?" Father said with a hint of humour, Mother laughed and kissed him- bleurgh- Why would Father tolerate such emotional behaviour, yes Mother was human, but why did he accept her humanity. And yet refuse to accept mine? "Come we shall retire, I will speak with T'Pau in the morning." With that my parents left the room below, and I scuttled off to my own bedroom.

o.O.o

My robes were heavy and uncomfortable, it was itchy, hot and horrible. All because I had to see Ko'mehk-il, the woman clearly favoured my half brother Sybok over me, and in turn I did not like her. I bowed at her feet, the customary greeting to the all mighty T'Pau. "Sa-kan, rise. I shall tolerate your unrestrained opinions upon me for I have the knowledge of your fever." T'Pau ordered, her wispy voice held so much power. By just being in the presence of her I felt the necessity to bow low enough to offer my neck, like a servant.

"Ovensu Ko'mekh-il T'Pau, I am indeed in what Father has classified as a perturbed state of mind." I rose from my knees to stand below her. She stood tall and mighty in her prowess, her head tilting slightly.  
"I shall meld with you Sa-kan and if you are indeed what you're Father claims you to be the I shall bring forth your assigned Ko-kugalsu." She knelt beside me, her frail fingers pressed lightly against my psi-points, she needn't even speak the phrase to meld with me as her telepathic ability was beyond speech.

Her cool touch washed through me, she kept her self detached from me whilst scanning over me in meticulous detail. Every square millimetre of my memories and emotions was ruthlessly washed over by her chilling presence. She watched over my fight with Stonn, she analysed my caged Sehlat's. She pulled back after what seemed like hours, yet only two minutes had passed.  
"It is as said, Ponn farr." She stood from my side and beckoned with her hand for the hooded guard to bring forth the girl. I don't know why all this was happening, no one had told me anything, all they said was, 'it is what it is' or 'it is our way' what was I supposed to understand from that!?

The girl entered, she looked just as fearful of T'Pau as I had done. She was holding her head low hiding her face from me as she entered, her hair had been tied up into an elaborate braid and she wore heavy robes as I did.  
"T'Pring, stand beside Spochk," T'Pau stated coolly. I looked up suddenly elated that it was T'Pring, my eyebrows rose as I wanted to greet her. T'Pring was one of the few people in school who did not treat me harshly, I liked T'Pring. "stay Sa-kan" T'Pau ordered, I cowered slightly, her telepathic abilities were beginning to really scare me.

T'Pring stepped quietly over to my side, her eye's would not meeting mine. T'Pau melded with T'Pring. I stood there in an awkward silence as the exceptionally old woman towered over the tiny frame of T'Pring, She was seven, and I was six but we got on well enough, I suppose. I stood there thinking over what would happen when she pulled away from T'Pring's face, why must she be my fiance? I shuffled the deep orange sand beneath my feet and stared at the huge golden gong that was hung in the centre of the stone circle that we stood in. T'Pau pulled away from T'Pring, nodded in silence and leant between us both. She placed one hand upon my face, and the other upon T'Pring's. Immediately I felt the now familiar presence of T'pau and beckoned for an explanation, 'Find her and your blood shall no longer boil' Then the cool presence floated away out of my grasp, her entire existence seemed to disappear from my mind, yet all the while I still felt her frail wrinkled finger's upon my face.

I was left alone, I did not know what she meant by the boiling blood, but I understood that I needed to find T'Pring. I searched my mind, my Sehalts were raging and fighting their bars. I left them be; uncaring if they broke out, now I was driven by the compulsion to find her. To find T'Pring.

I could not, I grew desperate, searching wildly, everywhere I looked I could not find the warming presence of the girl beside me. My Sehlat's grew impatient and broke free they ran torrent in my mind joining me in the search for her. It was impossible I believed, how could she hide if I needed her so badly, why would the adult's lead me to search for this one, if she hid from my own begging presence? I began to understand T'Pau's words as my Sehlat's crawled down my blood stream, their claws digging through my veins. I screamed internally, my blood indeed boiled and I felt the heat grow within my alongside my anger flared, I was outraged at my incompetence to find the one who would soothe me!

I felt a hand fall into my own and grip it tightly. A huge wave of fear and worry flooded my mind as her soothing mind flowed into mine, her presence flowed into my veins and tamed my Sehlat's. 'T'Pring!' I called out to her being there and squoze her own hand within mine. 'I am here Spochk.' She spoke quietly, her tone cooling the fires that raged beneath my closed lids.

We stayed like this for hours, I admittedly lost count, as my internal clock was unhinged by this fever. Eventually she withdrew from me and I was left, alone and empty. That was until she nudged me again, I looked down expecting to see her hand, when I saw nothing but empty space between us. My eyes darted to T'Pau in confusion, "You are Telik." she answered in explanation to my unasked question. T'Pring nudged me again, and I nudged her back, it was strange. This new bond did not feel like the ones I had with family members, no. This new bond felt stronger, closer to me than any other, my Sehlats entered their cages with little restraint and I was at peace. T'Pring's warm presence lingered with me, I was sure mine did with her.

Things were different at school, I apologised to Stonn, an surprisingly he returned the gesture. Putting the violence behind us, he still disliked me I could tell, but we were no longer true enemies. Savensu Darok did not mention the occurrences of the physical lesson either, and carried out lessons as normal. Me and T'Pring grew closer each day, we were getting used to the bond yet I felt slightly that I was outputting more than I was receiving in a sense of comforting anyhow, I did not question it. I had finished schooling for the week and was at home in my bedroom when I heard Sybok come in.

"Hi Spock, how are you doing little brother?" Sybok asked languidly as he sat down heavily upon my bed. His features were as always more relaxed than any other Vulcan's. I had already learnt that My half brother did not accept the logical ways.

"I am in a relaxed state of mind if that is what you are asking?" I replied in my calm manner, he sighed and flopped backwards on my bed,

"You're only six and you sound like Father already! All grown up are we?" he taunted.

"No, I know that I am not 'all grown up' but neither are you, for you are only 15 Sybok."

"ahh true true, brother that is why I am still here in this home strangled by Father's controlling ways." He composed himself sitting upright and placing his shoulders back, "Who am I, Ready?" I nodded. "Sybok" he said in a deeper voice than his own "It is illogical of you to visit friends after dark, you must keep inside for it is not safe for you." I quirked an eyebrow, "you are attempting to sound like Father?"

"Yes! why little brother I do not fear for your sanity, you do have sense!" He exclaimed.

I was about to reply in contest to his outrageous comment, before the cool voice of my father broke though my door. "Sybok, your attempt in being me is, faltered. And quite alarming that you do such acts, please do not poison your younger brother with your ways, you are dismissed." Sybok smirked and bowed sarcastically in front of Father "Yessir" and left my room, I actually wanted to snigger at my Brothers antics but I knew Father would not approve.

He sat beside me upon my bed, looking uncomfortable keeping his posture perfect upon my bed, he did look odd. "Spock," his voice broke my pondering "I have been told by Mother that you are finding your schooling difficult,"  
-"Mother had to tell you, why can you not speak to me without her instruction?" I interrupted annoyed that he had to be told to speak to me.  
"son, that is complex." -"I gathered"- "Please be quiet." I nodded and he started his 'speech'  
"Son, the recent events have reminded me that you are indeed not wholly Vulcan, and that I cannot treat you in the way I would a Vulcan child. Therefore, I have decided that in your next academy break I think it will be acceptable if you join me and your Mother to visit Earth." My eyes lit up at the notion, I had never been to Earth! "There you will be able to meet some of your Mother's family, they have not seen you in person before, only over videofeed when you were first born, are you applicable?"

"Yes, I'd love to go!" I cried out excitedly, "I mean, yes father I am applicable." My father's eyes lit up slightly in what I think was a hint of humour,  
"Good, we will leave in one month and three days." My father stood and left my room without another utterance, my homework got lost from my attention as I focussed upon the exciting news of visiting Earth.

**Authors note:**

Ovensu= honoured  
Ko'mekh-il=Grandmother/matriach  
Sa-kan=Boy  
Telik=Bonded  
Ashal=Dear  
Ko'kogalsu=fiance

Thankyou for all the reviews and comments you're spocktastic!:P

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and Amanda's outrage i hope expressed a few of my reviewers feelings on the subject of his fight, I hope aha

Thankyou for reading and enjoy what's to come next!:P


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter five:

Father had called his private ship to take us to Earth. It was a small cruiser class starship, and held 15passengers including the crew. The ship named Kahlut, was brilliant in my opinion! Father simply stated that it was a practical and more comfortable way to travel, but to me Kahlut was magnificent. She was black all over, each half symmetrical to the other with large green stipes running down each side of her hull. Her engines were placed to her rear and her thrusters under her neatly tucked, circular shaped wings. The thrusters were kicking out a slight orange glow as the flight team prepped her for our voyage to Earth-The Blue Planet, a Documentor had called it on a holovid I had recently watched. I was stood my palms pressed against the cold glass that separated me from Kahlut. Mother was behind me whilst Father stood coolly to her side, his fingers met hers in the ozh'esta, a mental link between bonded, that was acceptable in public, I had learnt of it since my bonding to T'Pring, I would miss her whilst I was visiting Earth.

"Spock" Mother called softly drawing my eyes away from you ship and to her. "Come on, we are boarding now" She spoke with a hint of a smile to her lips, I too suppressed a smile and headed behind them, Fathers robes billowed out as he accented his head and headed to the boarding gates, Mother smiled again and motioned for me to walk with her.

"What will we do on Earth?" I asked as we approached the guard who would ID us.

"Well, we will visit your Aunt and Uncle in North Dakota, there you can meet your two cousins. We will also take you around some of your Father's Embassies on Earth including San Fransisco, Paris, London and Moscow. Here hand your passport to the security please Spock" She instructed whilst explaining our itinerary, I did as she asked and handed my passport to the tall security guard above me, he looked at it, scanned it under the UV scanner and passed it back to me with a slight nod. We passed through security and entered the boarding platform to our vessel.

The conversation with Mother suddenly became the least of my interest, Kahlut was bigger than she looked from the port window. Her large glass bridge covered the top half of her main hull, the circular wings were now protruding from her main body and the long ramp was laid out for us to board. I felt amazing, everyone else were pouring onto the large boring public crafts, queuing, whereas we strolled by onto our very own ship. It became apparent of our wealth, in the moment I placed my feet aboard the metal ramp I felt like a king. We ascended the ramp and entered Kahlut, Mother went and sat in a launch seat and T'Mir one of our maids took our bags to the storage compartment, "Master Spock, would you like your handheld bag put away?" She asked, I looked at her

"No thankyou T'Mir, I wish to keep it with me." I replied, she nodded and placed the rest of the bags in the storage compartments. My bag had my PADD in, and the rest of my personal items for the journey, i did not wish for them to be taken from me.

"Spock" Father called, not from the launch seats, but towards the sliding door. "Would you accompany me to see the launch from the bridge?" My eyes widened on the bridge! The bridge of a ship!"Yes, Father I would." I answered as calmly as I could, I knew Father could sense my excitement but I held my control upon my features the best that I could. "Follow me then"

He started towards the doors and they swished open before me, it was becoming more and more difficult to suppress my giddy smile with each step. The Kahlut was lighter on the inside, her halls were ladened with small consoles filled with Data read outs and system routers. A couple of crew members passed by us, each of them bowing their heads ever so slightly as they passed. They wore a standard uniform, of dark simple cut robes that would not hinder movement as much as Father's must do. His robes were as usual, heavy and decorated with our house symbols and clans name. Today however his robes were not dark, but of a lighter beige a colour that my Father does not usually wear, but they suited him nevertheless. The journey to the bridge was quick but, fascinating.

The doors to the bridge swished open, the expanse before me took me aback. The captain was sat in the central chair spinning around efficiently ordering his staff on final prelaunch checks. The captain spun his chair to face where me and Father stood at the entrance to the bridge. "Sarek, welcome aboard. I see you have brought your son aboard, has he left the planet before?" The captain asked conversationally, he seemed like a friendly man. His features were indeed blank, yet his wording was uncommon of the usual vulcan, especially in presence of me, for I was seen to many Vulcans as a genetic monstrosity, a crude mix of Vulcan and tainted with Humanity. However this man seemed kind.

"Hello Farel, yes, this is Spock. He has left planet before yes, but at an age where he would not have remembered the experience. I thought it would be an interesting espionage for him to watch the depart from Vulcan, and the jump to warp from the bridge." My Father answered rather jovially.

Farel inclined his head, "Very well, May I ask a question?"

"Yes"

"Where is Sybok?" Farel asked curiously.

My father stiffened slightly beside me, I sent him some of my calm to aide him, he and my half brother had been arguing of late. Sybok had refused to undertake the ritual of preliminary Kolihnaar, it was not the entire process. Father knew that Sybok did not wish to accept the true ways of purging emotions, but he had not expected the reaction he gained from Sybok. His son had flipped, emotionally. I heard the argument from my room, even with the doors closed their disagreement could be heard. Fathers cool detached voice bellowed whilst Syboks rage filled fury echoed against the walls in defiance of logic. His point was clear and his opinion straight. He would not accept logic. For this he and Father had fallen out gravely, so much so that Syok had moved out and was currently living with his bondmate, T'Alai. She too was not a true follower of logic and so was not accepted by Father also.

"He is attending to personal matters, and therefore chose to stay upon Vulcan" He responded stiffly.  
Farel noticed his awkward reaction to the question and determined that it was a touchy area, he changed topic, "Spock, have you ever seen shirkhar from the air before?"

"No, I have not in person, however I have seen it before in class." I replied, my mind easily adapting to the new lighter toned conversation, my excitement bubbled once more as I remembered that I was stood on the bridge of our starship.

"ah, then you are in for a treat."-"That is curious." I interrupted "What?" Farel asked incredulous, "That statement, it is one of my mother's own human remarks, I have not heard it being said by a Vulcan before." - "ah" Farel said with light in his eyes, "it is a phrase you come accustomed with when you have served with Lady Amanda and Ambassador Sarek for ten years, it is a phrase your Mother uses often." He explained. He spun his chair back around to the front of the bridge and asked if the ship was ready for flight, with a nod from the helmsmen they were hoisted into the air by Kahlut's powerful thrusters. "Spock," Farel called, his bald head gleaming under the bright lights above him. "Come stand here, you will have a better view." I looked to Father in wonder, he nodded. Stepping down to Farel in the chair he spoke,

"You see out there Spock, is the plains surrounding our city, Shikaar is an oasis in the middle of this dry and baron landscape, and from it we Vulcans have forged a safe haven from the many tremulous wind storms that attempt to wipe out our way of life. Here" he stated pointing over to the far left corner of the city, "That is where your Father works, it is different from the air isn't it?" I nodded y eyes never eaving the expanse before me, the sights were amazing, " Indeed, look the gardens within the city. They were imported from many planets, the slight shimmer you see is a forcefield which acts as a natural atmosphere to control the temperature of the gardens to the optimum temperature of the exotic plants that are bred there. I believe your Mother has grown and adapted many of rose bushes there." Farel explained

I watched staring out at the orange landscape as the ship burst higher and higher through the dense atmosphere, breaking away from Vulcans strong gravitational field and finally everything was gone from view. In a flash the deep oranges and blues around the screen disappeared into the black, vastness of open space. All around the 180degrees viewscreen showed the cold back void around us. "T'Emir, turn the ship so that Spock can marvel at our planet." Farel said, his helmsmen nodded and turned Kahlut. I had to restrain a gasp. The huge red planet was displayed before my young eyes. The huge deserts could be seen and the horizon filled the screen, far in the distance T'Khut sat in a proud orbit of Vulcan.

"That is most satisfactory" I stated, showing as much emotion as I dare in front of people whom I was not fully acquainted with.

Farel smirked slightly "Vulcan is most satisfactory indeed." he said at length. He leaned close to me and spoke in a low voice, "Spock, would you like to put us into warp?"

I stared wide eyed at Farel, "Yes, I would. But, would it not be dangerous for me to operate such technology?"

Farel looked at me, "T'Emir shall guide you," he pressed a button on his command chair, "Engineeering do we have warp available?" -"Yes Sir, warp capabilities at your will."- "Excellent, Spock" he motioned with his hand. I found myself looking at my Father once again in gesture of approval, he too nodded again, timidly I stepped over to T'Emir.

She stood and let me sit in her seat. I had to kneel up so that I could reach all of the controls, she crouched down beside me, "Spock, this lever here is all you need to pull on so, place your hand on top of it like this," she displayed with her own hands, "Then all you have to do is pull backwards until the lights here turn green." I nodded in understanding, she removed herself from the controls, allowing me to take control.

"Helmsman Spock, please take us to warp speed."

I found myself joyous at being called helmsman Spock and obliged to his instruction, I pulled the gauge down and the light switched to green, looking up I saw the stars stretched out in front of me and the dots of light reach out into long endless lines. The screen went blank as we travelled faster than the speed of light, I felt the slight lurch of the warp core and we were off into the stars, on our voyage to Earth. To my Mother's homeworld. I turned to face Farel and Father who were watching me with curious eyes,  
"Thankyou Captain Farel this venture aboard our Bridge was most insightful. Thankyou T'Emir for allowing me the pleasure of taking your post" She nodded and returned o her seat, immediately checking for any error that I may have caused.

Farel nodded to me and spoke, "You are very welcome young Spock, but this bridge is as much Yours as it is mine and your Faher's, it is simply that I sit here in this seat." I nodded politely in thanks and stood with Father.

"We will reach Earth in three days my son, I advise that you see to your quarters to make yourself comfortable." I nodded and quickly rushed from the bridge full of glee.

My feet pounded against the decks of Kahlut as I half ran, half speed walked to the launch seat were Mother was sat. "Mother," I almost cried, "I got to drive us into warp!"

My mother laughed and stepped over to me, "I know you did son, your Father organised it for you, he thought you may enjoy it." "Father did it?" I questioned, "Why yes, he does care for you, you know.." she stated jokingly, "come we shall see to our quarters, would you like me to tell you more about Earth?"

"Yes, please." I answered again giddy with anticipation, everything was new and fresh, ready to be discovered. I tried to keep calm most of the time but I often found my human nature taking over and the odd smile broke through as I listened to Mother's descriptions of the precipitation on Earth.' Water from the sky,' I had exclaimed at one point, 'But that is preposterous' .Mother had simply laughed and said that it could be more than likely that I would experience 'Rain' in London and San Francisco.

**Authors note:**

Argh i'm so terrible its been more than a week I know, but hey things got on top of me, french exam for one aha.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thankyou for all of your reviews again your Spocktastic!

Keep reading!x


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sarek's mind

My breathing is cool, calm and measured. My eyes stare blankly at the Asenoi that sits upon the floor beneath my feet, my legs have found their natural position, folded neatly beneath me as I sit straight backed in mental consolidation. My thoughts have, as usual strayed from solid logic as I allow myself to unwind my emotional and irrational thoughts. This meditation helps, it is a way of relieving myself of the weighty emotional tension; that I must harbour throughout the day hidden from the eyes of others. Within the solitude of my blanked mind I find peace within myself, as my mind wanders to the voyage to Earth and it's probable effect on my true son.

I am hoping this endeavour to Earth will improve Spock's confidence around others, I wish dearly that he comes to the conclusion that not everyone in this universe is out to hurt him. I came to the terms of agreement within myself and Amanda that when we had Spock he would face difficulties, and I had accepted this concept knowingly. However, I find myself sat pondering whether he was a wise decision, not for my own self gain, but for his existence. I worry that he will not live out a long and prosperous life due to his genetic makeup, for he as seen to many as an outsider, and many claim he has no right to exist in this universe, for he does not belong. I feel fear within myself, I am scared of this notion and I wish that in some way I could prevent any forms of prejudice against him, yet I am fully aware that I am powerless to fulfill this illogical desire. My wife hath spoken to me of how she will help him through this by the use of emotional support and providing Spock with free will of his future, but I find myself wishing for him to follow the path of logic, as Sybok should have done...

I am wandering, my mind is in a state of unrest. I have not returned to Earth for personal reasons in 32.6 years. The Kahlut carries us there, and I trust her captain with my life, so there is no need for my sense of trepidation, I assume it is because I fear I will lose Spock to Earth and he will wish to express his human half, rather than the Vulcan side of which I have proposed to be the most logical option for him. I worry that Earth will appear to be more accepting of him than Vulcan has done in recent years, it does not help that my son thinks that I do not care for him, and that Amanda cares more than I do; it is not that I do not love my son, as Amanda would put it, but that I want to be the prime example of a logical sentient being. I wish to be the role model that guides him to the correct paths in life, by doing this I must appear detached from him, as I often see his pain and ignore him, allowing him to deal with it himself. This is where Amanda would step in and console the boy, yet it is not the Vulcan way, I believe he should learn his control through self consolidation and meditation, not through the emotional outburst of physical contact from another.

"Sarek?" Amanda's cool voice broke the silence that hung heavy in their room.

My eyes snapped up from the flame which I was staring at, and met the gaze of my wife, "Yes adun'a?" I asked answering her query with another.

She sighed and sat down next to me on the floor, her legs too folding neatly beneath her delicate frame, a practised position that she has adopted since our marriage.  
"I know you are worried, and you cannot hide it from me with your medative techniques. Earth is his home just as Vulcan is, he has family here just as he does there, but that does not mean he will favour one over the other. " My head fell down at her words, she could read me too well for me to hide anything from her, yet I am compelled into a silent submission, seeking comfort in the flickering of the Asenoi's flame and the smoke rising from it in an infusion of powders and scents, rather than her. "Sarek, look at me" she stated coaxing my face to hers with her soft fingers, " Ashayam, do not fear." her eyes bore into mine as she pushed her mind against mine in complete acceptance and understanding of my troubled mind. "He is a proud boy, and he looks up to you more often than you think, do you not notice his hands drawn behind his back as you do? Do you not see the quizzically quirked eyebrow mirroring your own? Have you not noticed his often confusion and dismissal of Sybok's taunting illogical remarks? He seeks logic Sarek, he knows that it is the path to maturity. Spock sees himself already to be more mature than Sybok despite the age gap. He realises when an issue has arisen and often finds a solution in a quick, efficient and _logical_ manner. This journey to Earth is simply to put his mind at rest Sarek, to show him that he has people he can turn to who will accept him for who he is, not what he is. This does not mean that he will abandon you, and your ways, but simply adapt them to suit his needs by mixing both cultures. He was born a mixture and so shall live one."

I found myself sighing to my wife's truthful words, a smile grew upon her lips as the quiet noise escaped my unruly lips; I did not mind however, for she had set my mind at rest where I could not on my own. _Who's needing consolidation through the emotional outburst of physical contact from another now hurm?_ Amanda's teasing voice broke through the bond, I had not notice that my arms had found their way around her frame. In fact I had been so lost in her words that I did not notice I was holding her in my lap safely constricted by my grasp, holding her tight to my chest. In a sudden awareness I released my grip on her. _It seems that I am indeed a hypocrite._ She laughed against me and replied out loud, "A logical conclusion sir".

Spock

My hands are pressed to the port window of the Kahlut as the great blue or which is Earth came into view. I now realise why the Documentor had name her 'The Blue-Planet', Earth was not entirely blue however, no she had large expanses of oranges, green and white spread across her spherical expanse. I was amazed that Humans had lasted so long when Mother had told me that only 10.4% of the land was habitable. Our ship drew nearer and nearer to the planet, she was smaller than Vulcan, with a natural satellite, Mother called it 'The Moon' and had only one sun. The planet was strange, but it was where Mother originated from and so it was also my home, in a sense. I could not wait to meet all of my family here, Mother said that they all were human, and were very friendly. Friendliess was a commodity which I was most looking forward to.   


"Spock" Fathers cool detached voice called out to me, I turned to face him  
"Yes Father?"  
"We shall dock and be transported down to the planet in five minutes time, have you got everything packed and ready to leave?" I nodded, he continued walking over to stand beside me. I Iooked up to him, his angular features were protruding from this angle and the sharp, strong line of his jaw was rock solid.

"Father, what do you think of Earth?"  
"Earth, is complex. The inhabitants have been babied by the planet for it has provided them with every resource they have ever needed, sunlight at a strength not too strong nor weak, copious amounts of water, so much so it falls from the sky, forests, seas, deserts, Earth has every climate known to it's solar system, yet they are all balanced around it's globe ensuring life's continual existence, and so, I find Earth to be kind, if a planet could ever have a conscience." Father stated, his head tilted as he spoke, is eyes staring out to the planet beside us.

"Is that why you became Ambassador?" I asked, taking advantage of Father's unerringly talkative mood as we edged ever closer to the space dock. He looked at me with a smirk in his eyes,  
"That my son is a story far too long for our current amount of time, come we shall meet your Mother at the bay doors. Captain Farel will be waiting with her to wish us our goodbyes, as he will remain upon the space station, the Kahlut is being upgraded whilst we are on Earth." I nodded understanding that Father wished to speak of his career another time, I did not mind. I simply followed his lead towards the bay door, my hand drawn behind my back and face devoid of emotion.

**Authors note:**

Hi, thankyou for reading, I know this one was a little different ut hey I cant stick to one persons mind okay! aha  
Adun'a- wife

Thankyou for our reviews again you are all spocktastic, I appreciate them so much, they just brighten my day so thankyou!  
Keep reading!:P


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

"Amanda!" My aunt cried as we exited the flitter, I and Father stepped coolly over to our relations whilst Mother ran into her sisters arms. "oh it has been too long!" her voice muffled by my Mothers own shoulder. My aunt and mother were flung around each other, I looked at Father and he simply raised a brow. I suppressed a smirk and neared to my Aunt, uncle and two cousins.

Their faces were alight with wonder, all wearing huge smiles upon their faces, just as Mother did, I however resumed my neutral demeanor in Father's image. My Father raised the Ta'al to my Uncle, "Live Long and Prosper Gregory Grayson", My Uncle laughed heartily he raised his palm flat, "Still can't do the hand acrobatics mate, aha, Hi Sarek your still as formal as ever, I agree with my wife it has been too long, and who is this." he pondered in false knowledge of who I was. My Father nodded at My Uncle's relaxed remark and answered unaware of My Uncles joke, "This is your nephew Spock"

Mother turned from her sister laughing, "Sarek he knows who he is!" resting her had upon his shoulder, a gesture of affection that would have been frowned upon Vulcan, yet here on Earth, was acceptable.  
My Father looked at Mother confused, "Yet he sought knowledge on the identity of our son?"  
Mother laughed again, "It's a joke, relax." I looked at Father equally as confused as he,

_It appears humour is a thing to be accustomed to my son_ Father spoke through the bond, I allowed my brow to raise and responded,_ Indeed it seems that we shall be subject to it. _Father allowed a slight amount of amusement to flow through the bond before focussing upon the humans surrounding him.

Mother laughed out loud catching our silent conversation, My Aunt looked puzzled, "My Husband and son were just discussing how the are going to cope with humour, " she explained for the human relatives that stood before me.

"Oh, the bond thing?" My Aunt questioned, "Don't answer that Sarek, it was rhetorical." Father nodded, My aunt bent down and called to me, "Come here Spock" I stepped over to her tentatively, "I haven't seen you since you were just a little baby, you have grown!" she exclaimed, tracing the sides of my face with her hands and straightening out my robes, just as Mother would.  
My head tilted slightly, "Of course I have grown, years have past between our meetings."  
My Uncle boomed out in laughter, "Like Father, Like Son! Come on inside you can get some tea and we can talk over things, Spock can play with his cousins if you like."

My Aunt and Uncle turned towards the house and my cousins followed close behind, each glancing over there shoulders to stare at me and Father. Mother smiled and nodded, me and Father set off behind her. The garden up the from of the house was unlike anything I had seen before, the ground was green and covered in a huge flat landscape of grass, each blade holding water droplets! Water was just laying around on the ground! There were flowers of every colour bursting from either side of the paved stone path like a border on each edge, I was fascinated by the colours and he vibrance of it all. A large tree sat in the center of the garden to my left and upon it's branch hung a rope with a tyre tied to it, curious, I would ask my cousins what it's use was, Maybe it was some sort of trap to guard the home from wild beasts?

My Aunt and Uncles home was thankfully warmer than outside, I took off my gloves, hat and thick outer robe and embraced the warmth with gratitude. The living room was small, but not cramped, it was what Mother would describe as 'cozy'. There was a large oversized chair by the roaring fire with a rug with old designs upon it, a large settee was placed at an obscure angle toward the vid-screen. Upon the fireplace was some photos of my human family and Mother in her younger years, My Father approached them and studied the photo's with great care. Mother rushed over and pulled the photo from his hands, "Don't oh god, you put these up on purpose didn't you!" She exclaimed looking at her sister, who simply laughed nodding  
"I thought Sarek better see pimply teenage Mandy, rather than the dignified woman she is now!" My Aunt exclaimed, My mother pressed the obviously embarrassing photo to her chest so no one could see it.  
My Father looked at my Aunt, "I would indeed find these photographs intriguing, are there more?" He asked clearly teasing his wife, "Why yes I have an entire album, I've got some photo's of you and Amanda before Spock was born if he wished to see them as well?" I nodded and moved over to Father.  
My Mother's face was abashed, "Sarek, why now of all times do you gain a sense of humour, at a place where you can embarrass me!?" She flopped onto the settee still keeping the photo of her pressed to her hidden away.  
Father's lips quirked into an almost smile, "Why it is only curiosity my wife" My Uncle laughed and slapped my Father's shoulder. "You do have some humour then!" My cousins popped heir heads around from behind my Uncle's legs and laughed, "You two, why don't you show Spock your toys?" My Uncle suggested, "Spock can see his parents photo's later"

My cousins seemed to gain some confidence and the taller of the two approached me, "He, Hello, I'm Annabel, and this is Jake, would you like to play?" I froze, my eyes darted to my Mother's immediately, she nodded in encouragement, _Go on, they won't hurt you, they're family_ I nodded and spoke quietly, "Yes, okay"- "Good!" Annabel squealed, grabbing my hand, my shields flew up as she started pulling me out of the room up the stairs to her and her Brother's shared bedroom. She twirled in the middle of the room, "well what do you think to our room?" , Unaware how to answer Jake spoke up, "ignore my sister she's weird and smelly, come on i've got some cool cars that you could play with." Annabel grunted and moved over with Jake to where the cars were. I stood awkwardly in the door confused.

Jake started to make a strange noise and fly the car around in the air, whilst his sister drove them along the floor sensibly. "Come on, you can use the red one if you like?" jake asked his eyes wide. I stepped forward and folded my legs neatly beneath me in my comfortable medative position in front of Annabel and Jake, "woah, how can you sit like that!?" Annabel asked.  
"I just do," I answered.  
I think she was put off by my response as she looked at me confused, but quickly drew her attention back to the pink flower covered car that she was playing with. Jake passed me a car and I inspected it, it was composed of both metal and plastic and coated in a red paint. I flicked the wheels causing them to spin. "Look like this" Jake said, demonstrating, he rolled his own car along the floor making noises, "See they are like real race cars!"  
I placed mine onto the floor and pushed it along, this was boring, why did the children obsess in pushing the cars when they could watch them move by inertia?

"Do you have a board of some sort and cardboard?" I asked Jake he nodded and dug under his bed pulling out some curved plastic boards, he said they were for his train set. "Would it be acceptable if I construct something?" "Erm, yeah I suppose as long as you don't break anything" Annabel replied warily.

I set to work placing the boards along their bookshelf and measuring the angles with the crude estimate of my mind. I borrowed a few other things whilst I built, some things called dominoes, i set up one behind the other in an intricate pattern each leading to a separate board with a separate car on, after some time I had completed my course and jake just stared at it with his eyes wide. "What does it do?"

I suppressed a smirk and replied, "observe" I climbed up on Annabel's bed and released the first red car. It flew down the ramp and looped upside down on the curved boards, it knocked into the dominoes which were split in two, one set knocked the pink car which curved off and zoomed down another ramp to knock into some books that fell onto a seesaw like contraption that flew a ball into the air, the ball landed in the basket I had set up 1.23 metres away. The second dominoes set knocked the green car which raced around a downward spiral and collided with a large set of building blocks, these knocked over the dominoes, once they had fallen one by one Annabel steppe around to read what they had spelt, "EARTH," she said aloud Jake was squealing with excitement, I nodded " Yes, Earth."

Jake was alight and bouncing around, "that was great!" , I nodded in thanks and started to put away the mess that I had created, as I did so Annabel asked, "Why have your cheeks gone green?"  
"My blood is green" I replied, "Also I am rather cold, this planet is colder than what I am used to"  
"but we warmed the house for you?" She asked  
"Yes, but consider, I am from a planet where 40 degrees Celsius is considered cold" Her eyes widened at my statement. "Gosh, that's hot!"  
"Indeed"

Jake was staring at me, it had become apparent to me that I was now their subject of interest, "Your ears are pointy" He claimed I nodded, "and your eyebrows are slanted? it is strange"  
I allowed a sight smirk to lift on my lips, "Indeed, just as yours are strange to me, for your ears are curved, and your eyebrows flat across your eyes, and your hair is tousled in a disorganised fashion."  
"And your hair is symmetric," Annabel exclaimed. "yes, strange" She agreed with her brother.

"Earth is strange." I answered in retaliation, "here water falls from the sky, and green plants flourish, your cats are small and dainty"  
"Dainty? What about tigers? they are huge" Annabel announced,  
"Ah yes, but a Sehlat, is twice the muscular density of a tiger and dons 6 inch fangs. many Vulcan homes keep them as pets." Jake jumped on his bed, "Can I see one!" I nodded and put away the last of the dominoes.  
I got out my PADD and showed hem T'Pring's pet Sehlat, T'Guhl, "Woah! You keep them as pets?" I nodded, "wow!"

"Why is there a tyre tied to your tree?" I asked remebering my earlier curiosity to the obscure contraption.  
Annabel laughed, "Why it's a swing silly! Do you not know what a swing is?" I shook my head, "come on i'll show you" She and jake bounded out of the room and followed at a more sedate pace. "MUM! were going to show Spock the swing!" She shouted as they left out into the garden, I asked "Could I go on your swing aunt?" She laughed,  
"oh you are so polite, yes of course you can I'm glad you three get on" I nodded in thanks and joined the other to outside, Annabel perched non the tyre and told me to push her.

We discussed many differences of Earth and Vulcan, I was surprised to note that human children did not start school until the age of five, I now understood why Annabel and Jake had not thought of inertia and angles, they were but six and were only in their second year of school. I was also intrigued to find out that they were twins, despite the fact Annabel was taller. She told me of her friends and how she loved dogs, and almost everything pink, throughout my time I could sense my Mother's happiness at my friendliness with my cousins. I had indeed deemed them illogical yes, but I did get along with them ad the swing was, I had to admit, fun.

"Aww, ain't that sweet," Greg said as he drank tea watching the kids playing on the swing,  
"Yes is is indeed agreeable that Spock and his cousins get along with one another." Sarek answered, his son had needed some friends and he was glad that his cousins were proving to be helpful in this aspect.

**Authors note:**

HI thankyou for reading, your reviews mean the world to me so thankyou!  
I'm not too sure about this kind of a drag in m opinion but were exploring the wonrders oof Earth soon! so roll on the rain!  
I hope you enjoyed it!


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Earth was becoming more and more pleasant by the day and it was my last day with my aunt, uncle and cousins, before we travelled to San Francisco.  
The day was bright and surprisingly warm for Earth, well, it was warm to the humans, I myself was sat in my oversized jumper that my aunt had knitted me, the sun was glaring through the windows and onto the table where the whole family sat enjoying our midday meal. Aunt had prepared a rocket, spinach and olive salad covered in balsamic vinegar with some goats cheese for lunch, her caring attitude had ensured that all the meals we had consumed on our stay had no meat content. The salad had filled my appetite, but my uncle was obviously used to much more protein filled foods and so in compensation was gorging down bread roll after bread roll, I smirked slightly at the sight of my 6ft uncle eating his bread in such a manner. His shoulders were hunched up and his elbows splayed across the width of the table, two hands on the tiny bread roll biting into it with little restraint. In comparison my father sat stoically and as dignified as ever. His back ramrod straight, elbows below the table surface, knife and fork wielded as he neatly sliced his own bread roll into small cube shapes enabling him to eat measures of each aspect of the dish in one balanced bite. So here I sat, my mother and aunt laughing away with childhood memories and embarrassing stories flinging back and forth across the table, my Father and uncle two polar opposites, one ravishing bread monster and the other dignitary bread slicing Vulcan. My two cousins were sat happily upon a smaller table fit for two young children and too were eating much like their father, I was illogically filled with an elating sense of joy at having the honor to sit with the adults rather than squish next to my mannerless cousins. It was a scene which i had never witnessed, Father relaxed and enjoying light conversation with my uncle, My mothers and aunt's beaming smiles mirrored one another and it was harmonious. For once in my life I felt like my family cared. My human relatives were unbelievably accepting and open with me, whereas my Vulcan relatives had made it _very_ clear that I was not welcomed, from their silent glares at my lighter eyes and dismissive tone with my Father. Here was different though, it did not matter that I was half Vulcan Half Human,it was not an issue that my father was alien and it was a moment that I openly would say caused me to feel an amount of happiness due to the overwhelming amount of belonging that Earth had provided me with.

Once everyone had finished my aunt asked what we would like for dessert, when she got to me however she pointed and went, "Ooh, now Spock. I know that you love fruit, well find fruit satisfactory or whatever, so i've made you something special." My aunt rushed from the room to bring in a bowl especially for me, "Right, I know, well researched, that Vulcan fruits are equivalent to a sour lemon covered in lime juice basted in acid. Soo, I have gathered the fruits of earth that will suit your sour loving taste buds! Its a fruit salad concocted of grapefruit, Kiwi, pineapple, oranges, lemons, and pomelo they are all full of some form of natural acid and so I hope you'll enjoy it. It just a last little present from visiting us here and a reminder that Earth is not as alien as you may think." My aunt beamed at me.

The dish before me was a wild mixture of yellows, greens, pinks and oranges as each fruit was cubed up and thrown into the bowl in an incredibly unfashionably Earthern way. I stabbed my fork boldly into a cube of grapefruit and popped it into my mouth, I was pleasantly surprised. My taste buds were alight with the natural tangy acid and I was certainly reminded of home on Vulcan, I tried each new fruit with a great sense of enthusiasm now, my tongue and mind alight with all of the new and individual flavours. I could her my mother and aunt laughing as the watched me devour the 'fruit salad', I think, judging by the speed in which I consumed said fruit I must have mirrored my barbaric uncle rather than my controlled Father, who's eyebrow was sat at the brink of his fringe in curiosity. His head tilted towards my aunt, "May I try this 'fruit salad' please"  
My aunt laughed out, "Amanda! You have deprived both your son and husband of a good fruit salad, how dare you!" she cried in mock offence, my other laughed, clearing the plates from in front of us all leaving the room with her sister to help out in the kitchen.

That night we left my aunt and uncles home, to my displeasure all of my relatives constricted me in tight hugs, slaps on the back and gesture of affection. After my harassment of loving from my family I sheepishly walked to the flitter to meet my Father who was patiently waiting for my mother to stop hugging her sister. "Why must they touch so often?" I inquired to my Father.  
He answered still gazing over to the house in front of us, "Humans are not telepathic Spock, hence they show affection and emotions through physical interaction." "but" I interjected"Mother and I share a bond, that is telepathy, so how can humans not be telepathic, yet Mother is?" "Ahh" My father answered, "Your Mother was an exception, her telepathic abilities were not of the exuding kind meaning that she can only receive thoughts of fellow telepaths, such as from a Vulcan. Surprisingly a recent study has show that almost half of the human population have this capability and that is why many have married Betazoids and the reason why Vulcan mind melds are easily achieved with the humans, it also helps to note that because of their emotional intelligence they are incredibly skilled at empathy, especially if said human is more receptive." I nodded, a gesture of understanding and watched as Mother made her way to the car.

"Sorry that I took forever" she stated in which must have been some human idiom as we had not been waiting forever, in fact it would have been impossible to do so, I did not speak my thought aloud but i'm certain my mother heard it through the bond as she waved once more to our family and clambered into our flitter. "Where to now Sarek my dear?" Mothers tone was laced with amusement as she leaned heavily in her chair, clearly the wine she had earlier consumed was affecting her.  
"We are heading to San Francisco my wife, the journey shall take us only a few hours and we have a room booked at the Ritz Carlton, a hotel you booked due to its history" My Father replied his own tone relaxed and calmed. He switched on the ignition and we sped away from my aunts home.

**Authors note:**

Sorry that this has taken such a long time I don't know what happened! Away I hope you enjoyed this installment, its only short i know but I hope it was enjoyable nonetheless.

Thankyou for your reviews the mean so muh to me!


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